Fear’s Hidden Rules

This week we learnt that there is a hidden logic to fear, a loop that must be broken. Beyond confessing the truth, we must learn to trust God by renewing our minds.

Think of fear like a simple board game you keep losing, but the rules are hidden. Once you begin to see those hidden rules, the game stops feeling random and you can actually win.

Fear always tells a secret story that begins with the words, “What if…?” For instance, “What if I lose my job?” Hidden inside that story is one small but powerful word: must. You tell yourself, “I must keep my job or…” and then you fill in the blank. Perhaps, “…I’ll be worthless,” or “…my children will go hungry,” or “…everyone will look down on me.”

Fear, then, is not random. It is protecting whatever you’ve just said you must have. That thing becomes your pretend god, your idol. To make the idol feel real, your mind plays a short horror film. You imagine the boss calling you in, the redundancy notice on the desk, the empty fridge, the disappointed faces. The more you replay the scene, the more real it feels.

Your body soon joins the film. Your heart races, your stomach knots, and before long you have what feels like proof that the danger is real. Because it feels so real, you reach for a quick fix that promises control. You might check your savings account ten times a day, say yes to every task at work and never rest, or snap at your children for small messes because “we can’t afford extra expenses.”

These quick fixes work for a few minutes, then wear off. The fear grows, and the cycle starts again, only louder. When you put it all together, you can see the inner logic of fear: it begins with what if, moves to I must, creates an idol, plays a horror film, triggers body panic, drives you to a false rescue, and ends with even bigger fear.

So how do you break the loop? Start by naming the “must.” Ask yourself, “What exactly am I telling myself I cannot live without?” Then hand that “must” to God. Pray honestly: “God, if you let me lose this job, you still have to look after me. You promised.”

Next, replace the horror film with a Bible clip. Hear Jesus say, “Look at the birds… your Father feeds them. Are you not worth more?” (Matthew 6). Finally, let your body calm down while your mind rehearses the bigger story. Walk, breathe, sing, rest. Trust is something learned, not simply decided.

Do this, and the fear train eventually runs out of track, because the thing it was guarding: your idol is no longer what keeps you alive. God is.

Kay Alli