“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18
On Sunday, we had a practical discussion on how to love. We must admit that not all people are easy to love. Difficult people come in many forms—some are argumentative, others are insensitive, selfish, or rude. They seem to know exactly how to push our buttons and stir up strife. However, as followers of Christ, we are called to respond differently, to honour all human beings. Here, I must remind you of Group1’s contribution: “It costs to love! It cost Christ His life!” The way we handle difficult people is a reflection of our faith and spiritual maturity.
Jesus encountered many difficult people—Pharisees who challenged Him, disciples who misunderstood Him, and crowds that rejected Him. Yet, He never allowed their actions to dictate His response. Instead, He chose patience, wisdom, and love. When faced with a rude or quarrelsome person, a gentle response can disarm tension. “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1. Instead of reacting emotionally, we must choose to respond with grace.
One of the most powerful responses we can have is prayer. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Matthew 5:44. Prayer changes things. It softens hearts—both theirs and ours. Asking God to work in their lives and to help us see them through His eyes makes all the difference.
At times, wisdom requires us to set boundaries. Some people thrive on conflict, and engaging with them constantly can drain our peace. “Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.” Proverbs 14:7. Limiting our interactions with difficult individuals, while still showing love, protects our hearts and maintains our spiritual focus. In Genesis 13:5-9, when a dispute arose between the herdsmen of Abraham and his nephew Lot. Their growing flocks made it difficult for them to share the same land, leading to conflict. Instead of fighting for the best land, Abraham prioritised maintaining a peaceful relationship with Lot. He said: “Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren.” Genesis 13:8. Rather than asserting his rights as the elder, Abraham allowed Lot to choose first: “Is not the whole land before thee? Separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.” Genesis 13:9
Above all, we must choose forgiveness over bitterness. “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” Colossians 3:13. Holding onto resentment only hurts us. Forgiveness frees our hearts and allows God to bring healing.
One of our sisters prayed that God would bring good people along on our mission to France. And I reminded her that difficult people are not obstacles; they are opportunities—opportunities to grow in patience, humility, and love. When we handle challenging individuals with wisdom and grace, we reflect the character of Christ. Instead of seeing them as problems, we should recognise them as part of God’s process of shaping us into His likeness.
Heavenly Father, help me to deal with people in a way that honours you. Give me wisdom, patience, and a heart of love. Let my words and actions reflect your grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Author
kay.alli@legalview.co.uk