“Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Cor 7:5
Hey, I am not talking about sex! Paul’s advice here might sound like a marriage tip, but it’s also about spiritual health. Taking a break, agreed upon by both spouses, to focus on prayer or personal time with God doesn’t weaken your relationship—it strengthens it. In fact, it can make your connection even more powerful, as you come back recharged and ready to face whatever life throws at you (including the dishes).
Healthy relationships, whether it’s marriage, friendship, or family, work best when each person has space to grow emotionally, spiritually, and personally. This isn’t a modern concept, it’s biblical stewardship. Taking time for prayer, rest, or personal growth helps you love and serve others better. You can’t pour from an empty cup—or be a loving spouse when you’re emotionally drained.
Let’s get this straight: your spouse is not your possession. Healthy intimacy means balancing togetherness with individuality. Giving each other space doesn’t mean you’re drifting apart, it means you’re both free to grow, and you can return to each other stronger. It’s not about emotional distance—it’s about supporting personal growth and keeping a healthy balance.
Even Jesus stepped away from the crowds to pray (Luke 5:16). If He needed that time, it’s safe to say we do too. Without space, relationships can become codependent or burn out quickly. A little time apart encourages emotional maturity and allows both partners to take care of their own needs before coming together with fresh energy.
The “oneness” spoken of in Genesis 2:24 isn’t about losing your identity in marriage. It’s about complementing each other, not erasing who you are. God created each partner with unique gifts, and when both are respected, the bond only deepens.
Giving each other space is an act of trust. It shows that you respect each other’s autonomy and don’t need to control every aspect of each other’s life. But it’s important to communicate clearly about what “space” means—whether it’s a quiet moment, a time with friends, or just not texting every minute.
When handled well, personal space doesn’t drive a wedge between partners; it strengthens the relationship and glorifies God. Used wisely, it helps both individuals become better spouses and friends. But if taken to an extreme, it could risk neglect or selfishness. The goal is not isolation, but renewal, so you can love and serve each other more effectively.
In other words, your well-being is a means to an end—not just for your own benefit, but to better serve others. Taking time for prayer or a hobby that refreshes you doesn’t pull you away; it allows you to come back to your spouse with more energy and love.
True intimacy is about balance. It’s about connection, respect, and a little space to keep things healthy and fresh. When both partners are allowed to maintain their individuality while nurturing their bond, the relationship becomes stronger and more fulfilling.
Author
kay.alli@legalview.co.uk