Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (Luke 6:37)
Have you ever wondered why forgiveness is so often the first step before divine healing begins to flow? Forgiveness removes the excuses we cling to, and it shuts the door that Satan tries to use to keep evil circulating. Unforgiveness gives the enemy ground to whisper, to justify bitterness, and to prolong cycles of harm. But when we forgive, we take that ground back. We disarm the enemy and allow God’s healing to reach places that pain once ruled.
Abuse and neglect leave deep wounds, and if those wounds are not healed, they spill over into the lives of others. Sometimes it shows up unintentionally through words, attitudes, or silence. At other times it repeats the same patterns of control, violence, or neglect that were once inflicted. The scripture does not shy away from this reality. From the earliest chapters of Genesis, we see that sin does not remain static; it grows, multiplies, and deepens when left unaddressed. As followers of Christ, our task is both to bring comfort and to offer wisdom that helps people recognise the pattern and begin to live differently.
In Genesis 4, we meet Lamech, a descendant of Cain, whose life illustrates the escalation of vengeance. Cain, the first murderer, killed his brother out of jealousy and anger. Yet God, in mercy, marked Cain to protect him, declaring that anyone who killed him would suffer vengeance sevenfold (Genesis 4:15). This was not a licence to prolong violence but a boundary God put in place.
Lamech twisted that principle. He boasted to his wives, “I have killed a man for wounding me… If Cain is avenged seven times, then Lamech seventy-seven times” Genesis 4:23–24. There is no record of a real threat against him; instead, he declares disproportionate retaliation. What began as God’s mercy in Cain’s story became Lamech’s excuse to magnify violence. This is how cycles of harm work: what one generation tolerates or excuses, the next often exaggerates.
Unhealed pain often mutates into destructive behaviour. Unless grace interrupts the cycle, the wound in one heart becomes the weapon in another hand.
But Jesus gives us another way. When Peter asked how many times he should forgive, Jesus replied, “Not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). The very phrase Lamech used to glorify endless retaliation, Jesus reclaims to call us into endless forgiveness. This is the gospel’s answer to cycles of abuse and vengeance.
Our responsibility is clear: to acknowledge the depth of people’s hurt, validate their pain, and guide them toward healing in Christ. This includes forgiveness, boundaries, accountability, and new patterns of relationship. Forgiveness does not excuse sin, but it does refuse to let the past dictate future harm. In Christ, the song of vengeance is replaced with the song of grace.
Prayer for today:
Lord, break every cycle of pain in my life. Heal my wounds so they do not become another person’s burden. Teach me to forgive without end, to live with boundaries rooted in love, and to walk in the freedom of your grace. Amen.
Author
kay.alli@legalview.co.uk