A Call to be a Friend

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15

Jesus’ approach to discipleship is radical in its simplicity and profound in its depth. Jesus viewed his disciples as friends, not just followers. This is the heart of true discipleship—relationship over hierarchy, friendship over authority.

When we think about being a disciple of Christ, we often picture the need for instruction, discipline, and growth. And while those elements are vital, Jesus shows us that at the core of discipleship is friendship. Jesus didn’t treat His disciples as mere followers or subordinates; He called them friends and shared His heart with them. He walked with them through their joys, struggles, and failures. He didn’t just stand above them giving orders—He lived life with them. This type of friendship forms the foundation for all meaningful discipleship.

Jesus’ call was not just to learn from Him, but to be with Him. Discipleship is an invitation to be in a relationship with Him. It’s not about standing at a distance, but about walking alongside, sharing in life’s experiences, and growing together in faith. As we walk in friendship with Jesus, we are invited to do the same with others. Discipleship is not a transactional process, but a relational journey where we come alongside others as friends.

This deep, personal relationship is built on love. In John 13:34-35, Jesus commands, “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Love is the foundation of true friendship. Jesus didn’t just give His disciples instructions; He loved them first. Before He corrected, taught, or sent them out, He created a safe space for them to grow, knowing they were accepted, not based on their perfection, but on His love for them. This love transformed them, and it is this same love that we are called to show those we disciple.

Christ’s discipleship was also characterised by transparency. Jesus shared His heart with His friends. In Matthew 26:38, during the agony of Gethsemane, He says, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” He didn’t hide His emotions or struggles. He showed His disciples His vulnerability, inviting them into the deepest parts of His heart. Discipleship is not about pretending to have it all together. It’s about being real, sharing both our joys and our burdens, and encouraging others to do the same. When we walk alongside others in this way, we create an authentic space where real growth can happen.

Furthermore, Jesus’ patience with His disciples exemplifies the kind of patience we need in our relationships. His disciples often misunderstood Him, doubted Him, or failed to grasp His teachings, yet Jesus was unwavering in His commitment to them. He did not give up on them, but patiently walked with them through their struggles, helping them grow. Discipleship requires patience—understanding that growth is often slow and messy. Just as Jesus had patience with His disciples, we too must be patient with those we disciple, allowing room for mistakes and setbacks as they grow in their faith.

Jesus also empowered His friends. In Matthew 10:1-8, He gave His disciples authority to heal the sick and preach the Kingdom of God. He didn’t keep them dependent on Him, but empowered them to carry on His work. Discipleship is about helping others find their own strength in Christ and equipping them to continue His mission. We are not meant to make others dependent on us but to walk alongside them until they are ready to go out and disciple others in turn.

In all of this, prayer was a central part of Jesus’ relationship with His disciples. In John 17:6-26, He prayed for them, asking God to protect and sanctify them. Jesus understood that prayer was not only essential for His own relationship with the Father but also for the spiritual well-being of His disciples. As we disciple others, we must commit to praying for them and teaching them to pray. Prayer strengthens our bond with God and with each other, and it is vital to our growth as disciples of Christ.

Ultimately, Jesus’ call to discipleship is a call to be His friend. He invites us into an intimate relationship with Him, and in turn, calls us to be friends to others in their walk of faith. Discipleship is not about a power structure, but about friendship, love, patience, and vulnerability. As we walk alongside others, we reflect the heart of Christ and lead them to a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him.

Who in your life can you invite into friendship today? Who needs a friend to walk with them in faith? Discipleship, in the way of Jesus, begins with being a friend to others—sharing life, love, and faith in a way that transforms.