Going Forward in Love

“Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” 1 John 3:18

Yesterday Iain and I were talking about the story of Hosea and Gomer. It is one of the clearest pictures of God’s love in the scripture. Hosea was told to marry Gomer as a living parable (Hosea 1:2). From the very beginning their relationship was founded on a divine decree of covenantal commitment, not on Gomer’s performance or faithfulness.

Modern relationships are often seen as contracts based on mutual fulfillment: “I will love you if you meet my needs.” When the feelings fade or needs go unmet, the contract is void. However, lasting love is not a feeling to be sustained, but a sacred covenant to be kept through forward-moving, practical action rooted in the grace of God. This is why Christian marriage is a love covenant; a binding, unconditional promise made before God and local church community.

Because it is rooted in grace rather than performance, it becomes a place of safety. You are not constantly trying to earn love. You simply choose to walk in it. Love is made visible through the things you do. You serve, forgive, listen, encourage and show kindness. You do these things even on the days you do not feel particularly inspired. We often assume feelings must lead the way, but the scripture teaches that faithful actions awaken and renew the right feelings. You act your way into feeling. Paul captures this when he says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32.

Marriage is a journey. “Going forward” means leaving old patterns, selfishness, and grievances behind. It’s a commitment to move together toward a shared future, growing in unity and purpose. Such a demanding vision of love is impossible through sheer willpower. The ability to love covenantally comes from experiencing God’s prior, unconditional love in Jesus Christ. Having been forgiven and loved sacrificially by God, spouse are empowered to offer the same grace to each other.

Ultimately, marriage is a living parable of Christ’s self-sacrificial love for us (Ephesians 5). This gives the marriage covenant its depth, resilience, and sacred purpose. So stop trying to maintain a feeling-based relationship. Instead, anchor your marriage in the secure covenant of grace. Then, each day, actively choose to move forward together in practical, loving deeds. This obedient action, fueled by the gospel, will forge a deeper, more enduring love than fleeting emotion ever could.

Hosea’s love was not a passive emotion he had to muster. It was obedience to God’s command: first to marry, and later to act in redemptive love. God tells Hosea, “Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress.” Hosea then pays a price to redeem her from the slave market. This is the quintessential example of “going forward in love” through costly, deliberate action, even when feelings of betrayal and hurt would have been overwhelming.

Going forward” for Hosea didn’t mean simply enduring a bad situation. It meant actively pursuing his wayward spouse to restore her. This forward motion was toward reconciliation and redemption, not away from the problem.· It involved leaving behind the natural response of grievance and wrath, and moving toward a future of restored covenant (Hosea 2:14-20).

This is the heart of the story. God explicitly states its purpose: to mirror His covenantal love for unfaithful Israel (and by extension, all of humanity). “For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers…’ But she did not know that it was I who gave her the grain, the wine, and the oil” (Hosea 2:5,8). Just as Hosea loved Gomer despite her adultery, God loves His people despite their spiritual adultery (idolatry). His love is not contingent on their perfection but is a faithful, covenant-keeping love.

How could Hosea do this? His ability to love covenantally was fueled by his understanding of God’s own character and command. He participated in a story bigger than his own feelings. His marriage was a mission to display divine love.

My own takeaway is simple. Covenant love is only possible when it flows from the greater love we have already received. You do not wait for a feeling. You obey, you act, and in that obedience you discover a deeper love growing in you. It is a love that reflects God’s heart rather than your own strength.

And perhaps that is the invitation for us. To love in deed and in truth. To take one small step of grace today that moves us forward. To let obedience shape our feelings rather than feelings shaping our obedience. That is where covenant love begins to take root.

Kay Alli