I have loved you!

“I have loved you,” says the Lord. “Yet you say, ‘In what way have You loved us?’ Was not Esau Jacob’s brother?” says the Lord. “Yet Jacob I have loved; But Esau I have hated; And laid waste his mountains and his heritage, For the jackals of the wilderness.” Malachi 1:2-3

Let’s explore what it means to doubt God’s love and how God answers such doubts. It’s a question many of us wrestle with at different points in life. What leads us to doubt God’s love? For many, pain is a significant factor—whether physical, emotional, or mental. Suffering, anxiety, and unresolved hurt can make us question if God truly loves us. Sometimes, even without external difficulties, our own negative internal monologue can take us to dark places. Trauma from specific life events or painful experiences in the past often contributes to this doubt as well. And then, there’s the struggle of unanswered prayers, especially when we feel we’re praying in line with God’s will. It can be hard to reconcile these experiences with the idea of a loving God. The disciples of Jesus themselves questioned whether He cared when they were caught in a storm. Christ had said to them, “Let us go over to the other side,” yet the storm came. In their fear, the disciples woke Him and said, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” (Mark 4:35-41).

In the book of Malachi, God speaks to a people who were deeply doubting His love. Malachi was written 400 years before Christ, during a time when the Israelites had returned from exile. While they were back in their land, with the temple and city walls rebuilt, the reality of their situation felt disappointing. Life under foreign rule was not the glorious fulfilment of God’s promises they had hoped for. Their kingdom was nothing like it had been under David and Solomon, and they struggled to see how God’s covenant love for them was still at work. They asked, “How have you loved us?” because their circumstances seemed to contradict the promises made to their ancestors.

God’s response in Malachi is powerful and thought-provoking: “I have loved you.” He reminds them of His covenant love. This love is not just an emotional feeling; it’s an unbreakable promise, like the bond in marriage or between a parent and child. Covenant love is a commitment that doesn’t depend on the worthiness or actions of the other party. God chose to love Israel and bind Himself to them, not because they were the most impressive or deserving people, but because of His promise and faithfulness. In Deut 7:7-8, God says, “I did not choose you because you were more numerous than others; I chose you because I loved you.” His love was rooted in His character, not their achievements.

This brings us to the language in Malachi that many find challenging: “Jacob I have loved, but Esau I have hated.” At first glance, this seems harsh, but it reflects the covenant context. Esau, representing a nation outside the covenant, rejected God’s offer of grace, his birthright. Jacob, on the other hand, represents God’s chosen people with whom He entered into a binding relationship. This doesn’t mean God despised Esau emotionally; it’s about the exclusive nature of covenant love. The Bible often uses “love” and “hate” in a comparative sense. For example, Jesus says, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, even their own life, they cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26. Jesus isn’t calling for emotional hatred of family, but rather for total allegiance to Him that surpasses all other relationships. In the same way, God’s covenant love for Jacob is an expression of His sovereign choice.

Why does God emphasise His past love in Malachi, rather than pointing to His ongoing or future love? It’s because He wants them to remember how He loved them when they were at their most unlovable. He reminds them of their history: He brought them out of slavery, protected them, and kept His promises, even when they repeatedly failed to live up to their side of the covenant. This is a humbling truth for us as well. God doesn’t love us because we are special or deserving; He makes us special by loving us. His love transforms us, not the other way around.

This stands in stark contrast to other religions, which often teach that we must earn divine favour through good behaviour. The message of the Bible is that God loves us first, not because of who we are, but because of who He is. If we’re honest, this can be uncomfortable because it strips away our pride. We can’t point to our own merits or achievements as the reason for God’s love. Instead, we are called to accept it humbly, recognising our unworthiness and letting His grace transform us.

Ultimately, God’s love is steadfast and covenantal. He reassures us that even in the midst of pain, unanswered prayers, or life’s disappointments, His love remains. He has bound Himself to us in a promise that cannot be broken. When we understand that His love is not based on our performance but on His faithfulness, it gives us a firm foundation to trust Him, even when life feels uncertain.

Kay Alli