Practical advice for dealing with a husband who believes he does nothing wrong, based on biblical principles, involves intentional steps that focus on communication, patience, and personal growth. Here’s how you can approach the situation:
- Choose the Right Time to Talk
Timing matters: Avoid addressing the issue when emotions are high or during moments of stress. Wait for a calm time when both of you can have an open conversation without distractions.
Practical tip: Set aside a time to talk, such as after dinner or when both of you are relaxed. Let him know you’d like to discuss something important and share your feelings.
- Express Your Feelings Using “I” Statements
Focus on your feelings, not his behavior: Instead of saying “You never admit you’re wrong,” try saying, “I feel hurt when my concerns aren’t acknowledged.”
Practical tip: Frame your concerns in a non-confrontational way. For example: “I sometimes feel that when we have disagreements, I’m not heard, and that makes me feel isolated.”
- Stay Calm and Avoid Accusations
Avoid defensive language: Even if you feel upset, try to maintain a calm tone. Accusations can lead to defensiveness, which will make it harder to have a productive conversation.
Practical tip: If you feel yourself getting upset, take a deep breath or suggest taking a short break before continuing the conversation.
- Listen Actively
Listen to his perspective: It’s important to make him feel heard. Let him speak without interrupting, even if you disagree. Acknowledge his feelings and thoughts.
Practical tip: Say things like, “I hear you, and I understand that’s how you feel,” or “I can see where you’re coming from.” This shows that you are willing to listen, even if you don’t agree.
- Ask Questions to Encourage Self-Reflection
Encourage self-reflection: Gently ask questions that prompt him to consider his actions and how they affect you. This can help him see things from your perspective without directly accusing him.
Practical tip: Ask, “How do you think I feel when this happens?” or “What do you think would happen if we tried doing things differently next time?”
- Lead by Example and Practice What You Preach
Model humility and growth: If you expect him to acknowledge his mistakes, show that you are also open to feedback and willing to grow. Apologize when you make mistakes and show a willingness to improve yourself.
Practical tip: When you make a mistake, openly admit it. For example, “I was wrong earlier, and I apologize for that. I should have communicated better.”
- Set Boundaries with Respect
Healthy boundaries are key: If the situation continues, it’s important to set boundaries. You can do this lovingly and with respect.
Practical tip: If he refuses to address issues or continues to dismiss your feelings, you may need to explain how that behavior affects your relationship and set boundaries. For example, “I need us to work together to resolve our issues in a respectful way, and if we can’t do that, I’ll need to step back for a moment to collect myself.”
- Pray for Him and for Your Marriage
Pray for wisdom and understanding: In moments of frustration, turn to prayer for peace, patience, and insight. Ask God to work in both of your hearts and help you both grow in humility and understanding.
Practical tip: Pray for your husband’s heart to be softened and for your relationship to grow stronger. This can be done privately or together as a couple.
- Seek Outside Help if Needed
Don’t hesitate to seek counseling: If you’ve tried to address the issue but your husband still refuses to acknowledge his faults, consider seeking professional help. A neutral third party, like a Christian counselor or pastor, can offer guidance.
Practical tip: Gently suggest marriage counseling, saying something like, “I think it would really help both of us to get some guidance from someone who can help us communicate better.”
- Give It Time and Space for Growth
Change takes time: It’s important to be patient and allow time for both of you to grow and adjust. People don’t change overnight, and creating space for growth in your marriage is important.
Practical tip: Be patient, and offer encouragement when you notice positive changes, no matter how small. For example, “I appreciate that you listened to me today, it really helped me feel understood.”
In Summary:
To practically deal with a husband who thinks he does nothing wrong, focus on calm, respectful communication. Lead by example, encourage self-reflection, and offer support for his growth while also maintaining your boundaries. If needed, seek counseling together and rely on prayer for wisdom and peace. The goal is to foster a relationship of mutual respect, understanding, and growth.
Author
kay.alli@legalview.co.uk